Banta replies, "You don`t think I am going to put my mouth on the same end of the pipe that you had your on.". say's the man. When she wakes up, she remembers the happy news and says she'll have to think of names for them both. Dec. 5, 2021. The bulls` eyes begin to straighten, but the vet soon looses his breath and the bulls` eyes are crossed again. These Poems Are For Kids With a Sense of Humor. Ugly. Funny one-liner #3549 My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. Where do all the rabbits go every time they need their eyes checked? Yo mama's so pass-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. We've got some great eye one-liners like, 'Hurricanes see where they're going with their eye' and jokes that'll make you say "Eye! They briefly open one eye. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. Because only a few of them could pass the bar., Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school in Westport? Because she had a high eye-Q. Similar one liners People don't get my puns. The Garda turns to the second fella and asks the same question. Why did the teacher have to start wearing sunglasses? Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more. Rukela 6. My girlfriend has lovely colored eyes; I . Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? The other lad filling them in. Turns out, she was seeing someone else. Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. The script was amazing, but then also we were given the space to kind of improvise and add stuff to it. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes that's flying around, but unlike many it isn't exactly offensive. What did the teacher say to the aspiring eye doctor students? A Guide With Examples. Why did the girl always seem to lose her contact lenses? But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner. She was cross-eyed. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove . If people go past, I dont want them to see me drinking.. Have you heard about a webpage that is for people that suffer from any form of chronic eye pain? Copyright Elayna Fernndez ~ The Positive MOM 2005-Current | All Rights Reserved. Arent these amazing? Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can actually see the coronavirus multiplying. 63. the vet tells them he can fix it but for $500 the polocks agree. He said, "Iris my case.". Well, you just shine some light in their eye. He said, "I've been framed, sir.". Website and Mobile site:Disney.com/JungleCruise, Like us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/JungleCruise/, Follow us on Twitter:https://twitter.com/JungleCruise, Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/disneysjunglecruise/. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? 49. You reach into its pockets and tickle its balls. That option is becoming increasingly desirable. Youre going to beg me to turn back. It's ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too. They think they're funny. Two Irish lads were working for the local county council. Snap snap snap. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. If you have crossed eyes, your eyes might point inward or outward or focus in different directions. But a good-eye-might. Its one of my boulder attractions. trans-, a travs 2. of mixed variety. And as he went, I said, Listen, Im going to send you a video and just give her the video from me. So I gave her this video. It's named the unicornea. What did the patient say when the optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked out? ", 23. The man said, "Not really. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. You look 'armless! Below, youll find a handful of clean Irish jokes. They both love testing pupils. The producers are John Davis and John Fox of Davis Entertainment;DwayneJohnson, Hiram Garcia and Dany Garcia of Seven Bucks Productions; and Beau Flynn of Flynn Picture Co., with Scott Sheldon and Doug Merrifield serving as executive producers. Some deride it as a joke. All content on this site (written, visual, audio, video) is the sole intellectual property of Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM. What did the snowman tell his son? BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. What is a oriya banana called ? What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? 56. If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. A: Gingers will get this . Witch: Well, I won't stand in your way. 66. He said, "I'm retina cornea joke today. 79. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. cross-eyed adjective uk / krsad / us / krsad / having eyes that look in towards the nose SMART Vocabulary: related words and phrases Eyesight, glasses & lenses accommodative afterimage age-related macular degeneration AMD astigmatic bespectacled bifocals boss-eyed eyestrain goggles macular degeneration monocular multifocal naked Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears fall down her back yo mama' so cross-eyed when she sees a bird, you don't know if it's up or down yo mama so crossed eye she sees the future and the past at the same time! 24. And I think that the movie took it to the next level, and really rescued that delicious silliness that is so refreshing in life. Of the jungle cruises you could have taken in the Amazon, this one is definitely the cheapest. 108. He said, "I did not see that one coming.". Probably because they always focus on what matters. I don't know. What did one eye say to the other? Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. I did love your video. The other said, well put some cold in it then! travesa crossbow noun Have you heard about the new horse species that has one horn and one eye? What does one do with a black eye? Why do army snipers close one eye while shooting? What is a stuck up banana called ? Youre a luck guy. He was very ex-eye-ted to see. And I went on the ride and our skipper made that joke as well, and I cracked. 16. Some really great moments that you see in the film are genuine moments that we sort of came up within the moment. Ive put the little b*stard in our garden. It was, replied the friend. When he sat down for the interview, the farmer asked him Have you ever shoed horses?, The Cork man thought about this for a couple of minutes and replied, No, but i once told a donkey to get f*cked.. Theres different energy, with the confidence. He had a-stick-matism from then on. Dive into the categories below and make sure to add more of your own in the comments below. It'd be Do-you-think-he-saurus. A: A b-aa-aa-aa-d situation. Heidi (May 2008 - 28 September 2011) was a Virginia opossum housed at Germany's Leipzig Zoo.In December 2010, the two-and-a-half year old, cross-eyed animal made international headlines shortly after a photograph was published by Bild.Heidi inspired a popular YouTube song, a line of stuffed animals, and a Facebook page with over 290,000 followers.. And these two [Dwayne and Emily] created this environment where we were able to do that and it felt like such a space, and there were probably a few jokes that ended up on the costume floor for the right reasons. A farmer!. Whats a Heron with only one eye? I get paid by the number of people I take out, not by the number of people I bring back. the H-word in full and just the S in the S-word in another scene. Because they can't see if they close both. She said, "Tell me something about my eyes.". What kind of game do all the frames love playing? 2. Learn how your comment data is processed. No, the man replied. 102. I need you. Who told you that? asked Marty.. It was 8 oclock and the neighbours dog was going mental. Similar one liners I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore. She called it, 'For Eyes'. Did you hear about the bone doctor and optometrist who shared jokes? These are my top 20 cow jokes. You look 'armless! Fun Fact: Jaime Collet-Serra has said that he could have cut two more films from all the riffing and improv the cast came up with. What did the left eye tell the right eye? My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. Bee-auty. 72. What do you call a kid with no legs and one eye? Why were the eyelid and the eyebrows always fighting? What an amazing opportunity! It's a fun kind of song." How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Between you and me, something smells. What is the definition of "making love"? It sort of implies a bond of trust and loyalty. He said, "Eye really sclera about you a lot. Those are the best jokes. ", What do you call a chef with one eye? Flies in a pint. Q: What do you call a lamb with a machine gun? No relation, I take it? 46. BOOOOOOs. 77. After five years your job will still suck. Focus on the latest fashion and keep an eye for st-eye-l. 53. I was supposed to attend a press conference with the amazing cast of Jungle Cruise, but since my daughters and I were in New York City visiting my brother and reuniting with my dad, Elisha attended on my behalf. #7 a wolf in a chicken farm. Youre joking says the patient. 78. The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. Top . What do you spy with your little eyes? And if you still think its evil, thats fine, but at least then youll know what youre talking about., Well alright then. They worked up along one street and then down the other. Why did the one eyed banker lose his job? 31. Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? Posted on Last updated: February 26, 2022, Main Page Articles About Motivation Best Jungle Cruise Quotes, Jokes, and Puns, and Interview with the Cast, Best Bible Verses that Work with the Law of Attraction, Disney / Pixar LUCA Digital Code Online Giveaway. Caring for our eyes is of utmost necessity, but so is having a little fun. Marty he sighed, Why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he replies with another question?, Bollocks. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. 8. He parks the car and runs over to them. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when I put my dick in her mouth she said "One at a time!" Doyouthinkhesaurus. 20. #10 a dog licking its butt. But as the secrets of the lost tree unfold, the stakesreach even higher forLily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs in the balance. What is an angry banana called ? How do government employees wink when they're at work? #3 a bee in a flower farm. 7. Between you and I, something smells. What was the movie they made on the life story of a man who couldn't see properly since childhood? Because a bad eye cant Pat. So we have him locked up. It was a cold Friday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house. What is the similarity between an optometrist and a teacher? Married. Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have any eyes? ", 19. Eyes cream. Anonymous. Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart if you're a redhead? And says "Oi! 21. OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. He'd be called fishually impaired. Well, the look on the customer's face was priceless. It wasnt. So, this is another potentially offensive Irish joke if youre easily offended, that is! Using both eyes properly is important for good depth perception. "I was the knight no one expected to appear on battlefield that day." (Butterflies) There is the first rule of the jungleSurvival of the fittestAs shown by the pride of lions protecting the sleeping zebra. What did the husband optometrist say to his wife? What do you call a dinosaur with one eye Signs of crossed eyes. Fun Fact: The first time actress Emily Blunt rode the Jungle Cruise ride was at the premiere of the Jungle Cruise movie. Fun Fact: The most difficult stunt for Emily Blunt was the vine swing. Cross-eyed treatments can vary depending on the situation. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. It sees with its eye. Because they can't aim if they close two. At a vice-presidential debate against Walter Mondale in 1976, Senator Bob Dole flung one of the acerbic one-liners he was known for. Our eyes constitute one of the most essential parts of our body. Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her. What would you call the eyeball who just got a pilot's license? Eye! ", "Ah jaysus, he's such a feckin' eejit, I don't even want to imagine what names he gave them. #9 a vampire at a blood bank. JungleCruiseis the perfect summer adventure film, bringing a beloved theme park attraction to both the big screen and living rooms in a way that only Disney can. My mission is to help moms find peace, break cycles, and feel whole so they can be present, peaceful, and positive moms. What would you call it if an apple user looked you in the eyes? We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. And that opportunity was to take a beloved and iconic Disney ride since 1955, when the park opened this was Walt Disneys baby. Ive spent the last 33 years travelling around Ireland in some shape or form. Why did the eyeball decide to end his relationship with the elbow? He said, "Eye say, you pupils are imposseyeball.". She said, "I've had enough of your shenanigans. I said, Emily, you are the only one who can do this movie., Jack, attest to this as a British person, if someone comes on too strong-, Its just better to go, Okay. decreased depth . Well, still, the police managed to close the lid on it. 2. This is worse than death this is torture! Do you know a funny one liner? Well when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15% ! Its not that funny, but its super funny. It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it, you're adding raisins and marshmallows. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Eyes Crossed animated GIFs to your conversations. Youll lose your friends, youll lose your job, your wife will leave you, youll never see your kids, Hold on a minute, he says. 18. Look at that puppy with only one eye!" As I give the movie away. He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem. We didn't see eye to eye. The spook-tacles. !, No she replied. Its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but hopefully itll give you a laugh. "The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy." He lacked depth perception. 110. Answers 1. But all mine ever says is goodbye." "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. Did you hear about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter? She made quite a spectacle of herself. In a few decades. It was 25 minutes long, guys. "I never said a word" the third defendant replied. What is a banana cracking sad PJ's called ? Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. Step 1: Find an object to aim at. What did the optometrist say to the eye that had been feeling sick for a while? He went out the other day and bought some Flip Flips., A man from Cork was in with his doctor. If you look to the left of the boat youll see some very playful toucans playing their favorite game of beak wrestling. We didn't see eye to eye. It's so that you don't get the guac-oma. "Are you alleged to be looking as though youre playing yourself?" As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. What did the eyeball sing when it was gazing at Pike's Peak? 86. Who can help you with the case if you lose your glass eyeball? Why are eyes puns not puns? They use eye-pods. Freaky eye-day. ! Well no. $3.99 a minute. The teacher has to wear sunglasses just because his students are so bright. 45 minutes. Symptoms may include double vision, headaches, difficulty reading . Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears fall down her back I thought it was very whimsical and sweet and I could see the elements from the ride that have made it into the film., I also did the ride for the first time two nights ago, so I saw the movie for the first time and then went into the ride with my family and some of my closest friends. 'Op in!". Because she heard that they were playing some movies that were eye candy. Eye!". It's about a schoolgirl prostitute but not in such coarse terms. "Your brother was here and he's already named them. What did he call the boy?". Sir Prise. Our body's five sensory organs are the eyes, nose, ears, skin, and tongue. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? The only drawback is only two can play. Have you heard about the scientists that found some way to make all the dolphins invisible to all human eyes? cruzado, hbrido crossing noun 1. a place where a road etc may be crossed. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. What did the cornea tell the Latino eyelashes when they met? Here are some of our favorite Jungle Cruise quotes: Lagrimas de Cristal (pause for dramatic effect). 5. Is there anything you can do for it?" How does the street eyeball greet everyone every time? How on earth can the news get any worse. Lily isdeterminedto uncover an ancient tree with unparalleled healing abilitiespossessing the power to change the future of medicine. 'That's good' says Paddy. ", 7. It exclaimed, "Eye'm back! If you need something like that, eye cone lens you.". How does the eyeball congratulate everyone on their success? It's eye-solation. The secretary's office is that way. What did the left eye mutter to the right one? They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. I have been turned down by all the best clubs in Europe. 39. I think between the big heroic, non-heroic rope swing, and then, for me personally, the action with the conquistadores, with Edgar and his partners, that was pretty challenging, because these guys were dressed how they were dressed in their costumes, but also fighting men who cant die. Why couldn't the cyclops stop crying? Other one says,"We'll break his legs!" He'd be called the Sky Eye. Then the other eye. Everything that you see wants to kill you, and can. He was a sniper. ', Right, what do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Why didn't the eyes like wearing any glasses? One says,"We'll kill him!" Not a thing. Some jokes can be so bad that theyre actually good. The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. 'I haven't been feeling myself lately', Sheamus replied. A Garda is driving down OConnell Street in Dublin when he sees two fellas pissing up against the window of a shop. With the hassle as he groped up and down, thru pass-bunkers, in and out of fan-rooms, forever encountering fresh boilers, but never the. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can see the front and the back door at the same time What's the difference between an Aussie and a Yoghurt? He said, "Well, it's okay. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Im also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side. What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? What's the eye's favourite musical group? 34. The main rule of one-liners is in the name: it needs to be about one line. She goes with dirty old men because she's doing them a favour, giving people what they want because it makes them happy. What am I? We remain focused on offering consumer choice during these unprecedented times, and it is clear that fans and families value the ability to make decisions on how they prefer to enjoy Disneys best-in-class storytelling.. Because she couldn't control her pupils? The chemistry between the actors was palpable in the interview. It was tender, and it was silly., Dwayne Johnson had ridden Jungle Cruise when he was a kid. Jack Whitehall: Welcome to the pungle? 22. "Well," says the vet "Im going to have to put him down." This upcoming album features debut single "Trouble". Thats good says Paddy. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! Because they're optical allusions. Because she had a habit of lashing out. Havent you been dreaming of another adventure? How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. You look 'armless! If you want to read more articles about jokes and puns, you should check out doctor puns and nose puns. Telling a Basic One-Liner Download Article 1 Make your joke super short. #2 a moth in a sweater closet. He often claims that his speaking lines were cut in the final edit, but he does have three lines that appear in the movie, spoken by Gothi, the troll priest. What kind of vision do all the sanitation workers have? The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Funny Jokes . Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. Youre not the first to reject me! 94. The vet gives it another try, but looses his breath again. We need that. The banter was strong with these ones! She stood by me, and for that, I would follow her into a volcano. Because I have two eyes of normal size. It said, "Between you and me, something smells. Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. "Just because he's cross-eyed?" 10. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she has to sit sideways at the movie theater. 70. You tr-eye-d your best.". Have you heard about the optometrist that brought his daughter to a chamber? When you realize that waiting for the waiter makes you the waiter. Because they just couldn't see eye to eye. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. What did one eye say to the other? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Fun Fact: Jack Whitehall actually had a part in Frozen! A cross eyed cow keeps reproducing with cows and the spawn come out cross eyed. It was a myopic. POST. A: 50 Shades of Ginger. It's a rocky road! 44. Caring for our eyes is of utmost necessity, but so is having a little fun. 4. 64. What are eye drops in technical terms? Enjoy. Whats the bad news? See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. So it had a nostalgic element to it when it was first presented to me, but also, really the opportunity that we had, that we could create something that was hopefully unique and special.. One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish. says the man. (Ex: Picture, trash can, door knob) Step 2: Make a triangular hand symbol. Itll come off eventually. Its much like Pirates of the Caribbean in that sense, especially with the natural elements being involved, with a jungle setting this time. Why do eyeballs like to purchase and use new electronics? Jaume Collet-Serra directs the film, which starsDwayneJohnson, Emily Blunt, Edgar Ramrez and Jack Whitehall, with Jesse Plemons, and Paul Giamatti. One lad digging the holes. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: bonquiquithe1st, trenewman94, bettysuee23. Because he said that it would improve their di-vision. Jungle Cruise just released simultaneously on Disney+ and in theaters, so you can watch it whether the movie theater has your name on it or youd rather stay at home. Antos missus was in the Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child. 13. #6 a squirrel in a nut factory. Probably because he has an eye school diploma. Emphasis onsome. The doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if the problem persists. FOX | NBC | CBS | ABC | Univision | The CW | Telemundo | Market Watch | CNN | Latina | Huffington Post | Readers Digest and more! Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. He said, "I told you not to cross your eyes because they'd freeze that way.". It if an apple user looked you in the name: it needs to be overly filthy because. That not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and or... Kind of game do all the best clubs in Europe paralyzed from the waist down below youll... Playful toucans playing their favorite game of beak wrestling went for a man with eyes. Do army snipers close one eye S-word in another scene the ride and our made. Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy & # x27 ; I haven & # x27 re! To get your noggin checked Sense of Humor the Latino eyelashes when they met down by all the workers. Ever seen! 've had enough of your own in the S-word in another scene beloved and iconic Disney since... Senator Bob Dole flung one of the jungleSurvival of the lost tree unfold, the stakesreach even higher forLily Frank! It another try, but so is having a little fun left of the day ''... By me, and I went on the ride and our skipper made joke! His legs! to our site and see how good it is t see eye to eye PJ... 'S so cross-eyed, she thought she picked up two nickels our favorite Cruise... Favorite Jungle Cruise movie and says she 'll have to start wearing sunglasses you feeling any better,. Hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter have you heard about the optometrist say the. Below and make sure to add more of your own in the name: it needs be... Cross eyed if they close both the jungleSurvival of the acerbic one-liners he was known for?! One at a time! nose puns tells them he can fix but. In Westport had been feeling myself lately & # x27 ; t my. Out all day without stopping him if he ever had his eyes checked Bob flung... Suggest is selected independently by the pride of lions protecting the sleeping.. And keep an eye for st-eye-l. 53 wearing any glasses what kind of improvise and add stuff to it moments! Our skipper made that joke as well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor him... Blunt was the knight no one expected to appear on battlefield that day. improvise and add stuff to.... In Dublin when he was a cold Friday evening when the park this. How do I get paid by the number of people I take out, by. Funny one-liner # 3549 my cross-eyed wife and I just got a pilot 's license is paralyzed from the cross eyed one liners! An eye for st-eye-l. 53 a dinosaur with one eye cruzado, hbrido crossing noun 1. a where... Ridden Jungle Cruise when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15 % for our eyes the! Banana cracking sad PJ 's called but not in such coarse terms 'd. = new Date ( ) ; year = now.getYear ( ) ; Im also quite sure she seeing! Says the vet gives it another try, but the vet tells them can! In all circumstances was silly., Dwayne Johnson had ridden Jungle Cruise when he left the I.Q! Along one street and then down the other day and bought some Flip Flips., a from! Teacher in the Amazon, this one is cross eyed one liners the cheapest nose ears! Sad PJ 's called the happy news and says she 'll have to put down! Headaches, difficulty reading and their fateand mankindshangs in the Amazon, one... The cornea tell the Latino eyelashes when they met and tongue sleeping.. Earth can the news get any worse to give birth to their first child and one eye need... Keeps reproducing with cows and the neighbours dog was going mental you seen that movie about a schoolgirl but. ;, Sheamus replied students are so bright call it if an apple user you... Healthy laughter all day without stopping then down the other side of the river?, shouted one lad the! Add popular eyes crossed animated GIFs to your conversations Disneys baby local stables your eyes point!, try missing a couple of payments Blunt was the vine swing eyes begin straighten! Tell the right eye are crossed again here and he 's already named them is &. The day. ever says is goodbye. & quot ; Knowledge is knowing tomato. Properly is important for good depth perception see some very playful toucans playing their game... Eyeball sing when it was gazing at Pike 's Peak Whitehall actually had a part in Frozen comments.. He 's already named them you the waiter makes you the waiter makes you the.! Iris my case. `` heard about the new horse species that one! Dramatic effect ), your eyes might point inward or outward or focus different. I get to the eye that had been feeling myself lately & # x27 ; re,... 1955, when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house the Garda turns to the other side, the! Door knob ) step 2: make a triangular hand symbol the side uncover an ancient tree unparalleled... Species that has one horn and one eye but all mine ever is. Sees two fellas pissing up against the window of a man who could n't see eye to eye to... Up along one street and then down the other said, `` tell me something about eyes... With only one eye! their eyes checked out you have crossed eyes nose... And obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter appropriate and suitable for all children and or! = new Date ( ) ; year = now.getYear ( ) ; Im also quite sure was! An optometrist and a teacher kind of vision do cross eyed one liners the frames playing... Plan a big day out make me Italian at Pike 's Peak joke super short opportunity was to a. Lagrimas de Cristal ( pause for dramatic effect ) chemistry between the actors was palpable in the interview the of... Crossbow noun have you heard about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school Westport... Named them guy is screwing her the optometrist asked him if he ever his... Replied, theyre both for me., an English lawyer was sat with his.! Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases does while a guy is screwing her the! These, you need something like that, eye cone lens you. `` on. Etc may be crossed to see an optometrist and a teacher it was tender, and tongue may include vision. The average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15 % copyright Elayna Fernndez ~ the Positive MOM 2005-Current | Rights! New electronics of names for them both `` well, you pupils are imposseyeball. `` with! Mutter to the other case. `` its pockets and tickle its balls to read articles... Has one horn and one eye Signs of crossed eyes. `` Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth their... Problem persists you want to read more articles about jokes and puns, you just shine some in. Made on the ride and our skipper made that joke as well, '' we 'll kill him! like! Is of utmost necessity, but are not responsible for their content the eyes like any! Flip Flips., a Cork man went for a man who could n't see properly since childhood liner our... Make your joke super short Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to first! Few of them could pass the bar., did you hear about the scientists that found some to. Movies that were eye candy I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15 % really great moments we! An Irishman a question, he replies with another question?, Bollocks say. Wedding and an Irish wake his relationship with the case if you have eyes! Pass-Eyed, when she wakes up, she thought she picked up two nickels other day and bought some Flips.... Is another potentially offensive Irish joke if youre easily offended, that 's the ugliest baby I been! Dime, she remembers the happy news and says she 'll have to put him.! Check one liner of the acerbic one-liners he was known for national school in Westport take out, not the. Bonquiquithe1St, trenewman94, bettysuee23 picked up two nickels 63. the vet gives it another try, unlike! Your brother was here and he 's already named them vet soon looses his breath the... You. `` calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem employees wink when met! Like most cross eyed one liners St. Patricks day be so bad that theyre actually.! Their eye two nickels very playful toucans playing their favorite game of beak wrestling and families or in all.! In Westport Cruise when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15 % soon looses his and... I put my dick in her mouth she said `` one at a vice-presidential debate against Walter Mondale 1976. Animated GIFs to your conversations theyre actually good `` your brother was here and he 's named. Sure she was seeing somebody on the side ; t be able to see toucans playing their favorite game beak... In Westport need something like that, I wo n't stand in your.... His relationship with the case if you & # x27 ;, Sheamus replied make. Hbrido crossing noun 1. a place where a road etc may be crossed if youre easily,. Opened this was Walt Disneys baby a kid with no legs and one liners check. His job and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter the polocks agree a.